Anxiety: Part Two
photo by Baran Haznedaroğlu
So Anxiety can have a number of causes as we explored in Part one. But what do you do about it once you’re experiencing anxiety? And how do you find relief?
It’s all well and good to understand the cause of Anxiety but if you’re feeling anxious-now is not the time to analyse it. Thinking is not the answer.
One thing is to hone some tools that will help you through the experience. This is where mindfulness, a connection to the breath and the felt sense of the body are really important.
With mindfulness you can observe that anxiety has two components: unpleasant feelings and thoughts.
The things happening in the body-whether its heart rate, warm hands, tightness in the chest or shoulders, are all something you can feel. Just feelings.
The thoughts about the future or what you’re afraid again can just be observed as thoughts. Just thinking happening.
When Anxiety comes up its instinctive to want to get rid of it. It’s a lot of sensation and thoughts happening all at once, and it’s uncomfortable.
Start with feeling the body and the breath. If you met a small terrified child, a child you loved perhaps your own or your niece or nephew-you wouldn’t run away from them would you? No you’d most likely pick them up in your arms and say ‘Hey, I’m here. I can see you’re really scared right now. I’ve got you.’ Meet the experience with love and kindness.
You didn’t want this anxiety, you didn’t make it out of the thin air. It’s just here, and with time it will pass. While it’s here, be with it. Like a small child just needs care and love until it knows that it’s safe.
The child is talking really fast telling you all the things it’s scared are going to happen. You don’t try and argue with the child or point out all the reasons things won’t happen. You just listen, and hug them and say ‘I can hear you’re really scared right now. But I’m here and I love you.’ Every time the mind races just think of it as this small child. You’re just here with it.
With time the child feels calmer, more relaxed. The child can soften into your arms and smile, then runs off to play.
This is the immediate experience of anxiety, and a strategy for being present and mindful with it. Just allowing it to come and go. We resist anxiety-we don’t want to feel it. And so we suffer. The not wanting to feel it-the resistance takes energy. It feeds the loop of anxiety and drains us, burns us out.
In terms of lifestyle there’s also a lot we can do that impacts on Anxiety. Most of it is really simple, basic human stuff.
Are you eating good food? Are you moving your body and breathing fresh air? Do you have a connection with good friends and family? Are you part of a loving community? Do you have a practice that helps you be centered and connected to the present moment. To the life that is happening around you?
We’re human, and for all our complexities we need simplicity. Basic needs. A simple life. Simple is not always easy. But it makes a difference.
Anxiety isn’t that something is wrong with you. In a lot of cases it’s a sign from the body saying hey-there’s something not right here. Stop and listen.
Yes it can be hereditary, and yes it can be a chemical imbalance that’s driving it in some cases. It doesn’t mean that there’s still not a lot you can to improve your emotional health.
If you’ve been suffering from Anxiety, I know it can suck. Please, hang in there. Be patient and kind with yourself. There’s nothing wrong with you. Stop and listen. Connect deeply with yourself, with everything around you. Slow down, be simple.
In service
Peter.
